You wouldn’t cut an apple pie in squares.
Darren Johnson, owner of Ada Padrone’s
Though pizza is delicious in all forms, labeling its shape as irrelevant would be a lie.
There are many options for cutting the traditional circular snack, ranging from strips to stars to the many polygons. However, the most common shapes in which pizza is divided into are squares and triangles.
But which of these geometrical constructions shape up to be the most convenient, fair, and, frankly, better form? The answer is simple: the classic triangle.
I have heard many arguments in favor of the square, and some I do find compelling. For example, cutting the pizza into squares does allow for more customization of the crust-to-body ratio. Taking a slice from the inside gets you a cheesy and un-crusted slice of pie, while taking one of the ‘corner pieces’ nets a piece almost entirely crust.
However, triangles are the traditional cut for a reason.
For one, triangles offer a sense of equality to each slice. Cut properly, each piece should be of equal size with the same amount of crust and, ideally, the same general amount of toppings. You just can not achieve that with the square cut.
Not only that, but it is just more satisfying, easier, and less messy to eat a triangular cut pizza.
The square slice leaves no obvious starting point, makes it difficult to eat without catching the pizza on the edges of your mouth, and requires more thought and planning while eating.
And where are you supposed to hold the stupid thing? From the bottom? That makes it hard to eat. The edges? You get sauce on your hands. Fold it? Buy a calzone.
The crust of the triangular cut offers a convenient handle to hold from. A slight concave curve down the length of the triangle ensures its structural integrity and minimizes the mess caused by sauce or toppings.
It should be obvious by now that triangle slices are the way to go, but you don’t have to take my word for it.
“We cut ours in triangles,” says owner of Ada Padrone’s Darren Johnson. “I think it just looks better to the eye. I think it’s easier to get the slices even.”
Johnson goes on to say that “we will do that upon request… we will cut in squares, just, you know, if people are feeding kids for a birthday party or whatever. I get how that’s easier, but I try to talk them into doing smaller triangles, just because you can cut them more even.”
So, in summary, square pizzas have some benefits, but I find them to be outweighed by their limitations and the advantages triangular pizza provides.
Next time you pick up the phone to order a pizza, make sure you specify you want it cut in the superior shape. Unless you’re ordering a sheet pizza, then do what you want.